I hate new-fangled things. I'm allergic to abrasive flashy novelty. Yet it occurs to me that it's my obsession with the past that made me such a classical gothic modern. I believe the authentic ones -- I didn't say necessarily successful ones -- aren't looking to be original. We just want to be stepping stones back with the first stone close enough to the present to leap to. As Picasso said, before the works of Michelangelo, he felt smothered with shame. And yet we're no doubt romanticizing it somewhat. Maybe just having the sense to desire it is perfect. I can't think of anything better. My cup runneth over.
HIGH RESOLUTION PHILOSOPHY, WORK IN PROGRESS RELEASED FOR VIEW ONLY IN EVENT OF EMERGENCY NEED FOR HAIR OF THE DOG THAT BIT US -- KNOWLEDGE! THE WAY OUT IS THE WAY BACK INTO THE GARDEN. DO YOU DARE? DO YOU DARE NOT TO DARE?
the missing thing that is completely different from everything else, but everything has a stake in it.
Thursday, April 25, 2019
how I became a modern by hating the modern world
I hate new-fangled things. I'm allergic to abrasive flashy novelty. Yet it occurs to me that it's my obsession with the past that made me such a classical gothic modern. I believe the authentic ones -- I didn't say necessarily successful ones -- aren't looking to be original. We just want to be stepping stones back with the first stone close enough to the present to leap to. As Picasso said, before the works of Michelangelo, he felt smothered with shame. And yet we're no doubt romanticizing it somewhat. Maybe just having the sense to desire it is perfect. I can't think of anything better. My cup runneth over.
Wednesday, April 24, 2019
les barricades mysterieuses
The Mysterious Barricades
To improvise, first let your fingers stray
across the keys like travelers in the snow:
each time you start, expect to lost your way.
You'll find no staff to lean on, none to play
among the drifts the wind has left in rows.
To improvise, first let your fingers stray
beyond the path. Give up the need to say
which way is right, or what the dark stones show;
each time you start, expect to lose your way.
And what the stillness keeps, do not betray;
the one who listens is the one who knows.
To improvise, first let your fingers stray.
Our over-emptiness is where things weigh
the least. Go there, believe a current flows,
each time you start, expect to lose your way.
Risk is the pilgrimage that cannot stay;
the keys grow silent in their smooth repose.
To improvise, first let your fingers stray.
Each time you start, expect to lose your way.
Jared Carter
Monday, April 22, 2019
for those who follow the internet philosophical debates
teaching isn't teaching if it doesn't hurt (zen master)


md: it was a big! life threatening awakening to find that what your Mentor calls "critical theory" and charges an arm and a leg for is just somebody's particular take on the world protected from all Criticism. -- and we're supposed to all be nice and sanguine about this. no wonder the poor guy's gut is so messed up, he can't digest anything but meat and then he starts sounding rabid. but this is Easter! Happy Easter. Peace on earth good will toward ALL!
md: well to prepare for the rest of it -- imho🤓🙂🤓 -- here's the illuminated version of that take on zizek I posted a while back. https://themongreldiscourse.blogspot.com/p/truth-is-bacchanalian-revel-in-which-no.html

md: JP 🙏🏼teaches such self-reliance as would question his teachings in order to obey them. Pretty nice. That hammer is useful for demolition and deconstruction or construction. Nobody will plumb the vortex of that paradox and join the construction crew though. Where are the votes in that? Where’s the pay off for the Me in that painstaking process? Gone are the days when the royalty nobles commoners dragged the stones in wheelbarrows and built the cathedral with their bare hands together. So much more fun to watch it go up in flames or fetishize its image.

(cruel to be kind: my text as a diaphanously veiled amorously sadomasochistic sexual/architectural apprenticeship)
Sunday, April 21, 2019
Friday, April 19, 2019
recently discovered Good Friday sermon by the good Savanarola, no wonder they burned him at the stake
...Creation, always one step ahead of us, fights back!
It was a bad moment, and being one himself, he was constrained briefly to ally with these signifying apes, whose tongues are perennially forked, against fate and Creation, and called for forgiveness of his merely human, clearly clueless murderers.

Not satisfied with the rule of logic and needing someone or thing to blame and shame, so they can remain in perpetual resentment at the balance of dark and light at both extremes, and in every shade of the spectrum required for Being to be at all, they must tip the balance and outdo in darkness all the darkness in given Creation needed to balance the light of their graciously given consciousness.
When they reenact this enough times, will this cause the return of the messiah? Maybe they think so. Well, if someone must play Judas, I'm glad it's not me. And even if it's inevitable, that doesn't obviate responsibility. How long will they be content to blame and villainize Creation before they must once more concretize the enemy?
In a relative world, the lesser bad counts as the greater good. Left to our own, pristine logical and emotionally awake conceptions/perceptions, outside of any "teaching", just staring long enough in a mirror, do we not perceive this least false truth and know our true enemy?
The human self is a vampire, that rises again a hundred times a day, and we should and must ally with ferocious Being -- yes yes yes, my love yes I forgive you, if anyone it is you -- by OUR law innocent until proven guilty (not in compassion, but to protect the body of data) -- not I, who knows not what you do. Like a brave Greek king, by my guilt I have put out my eyes to play the role of the blind woman not just having tea with, but by now fallen in love with Frankenstein -- against the self, my self, which does know, and weaves a thousand veils and cobbles up an army of virtual lilliputians to tie itself down and cry -- "woe is wonderful decent spiritually gigantic me victimized -- but ...no worm I, I know my enemy, and stand erect and spit it in the face of Creation. To the horrible gruesome terms of Being and all who ally with this terrible God. Crucify! Crucify! Crucify them all! Would we could crucify IT! Aren't we all so beautiful, thank God we're US, compared to IT in all its ITerations and all the ITS that are into IT!"

Never underestimate the beastliness of this beast -- "when the son of man comes will he find faith on earth?" -- that keeps kissing itself princely until it drowns in its own reflection hoping on the way, in sheer spite spiced with envy, to suck the whole universe, and all the universes from which it came, and those to which it hoped to give birth, in its voraciously generative, ruthlessly regal generosity, into the black hole humanity that so carefully studies toward this end. Never doubt the capacity of this dark god in its ferocious need not to let anything go its own way without it.
Monday, April 15, 2019
morning aptly sounds like mourning
warning: as you probably know, when you begin enjoying well rounded organic meals straight from the farm, and you also learn that all those potato chips are killing you, you can lose the taste for them and all the wonderful associations and friendships built around eating potato chips. Morning aptly sounds like mourning.
Thursday, April 11, 2019
what are words for
-however deranged, it's in the arrangement
-what words are for
-riding words without harnessing them

What a smoky glass though! Words stand for concepts that forget all the differences between members of their categories, the difference between my woman friend and me each time we use the word woman, and the omission of all such critical differences discredits every single thing we say with words to the point where it might seem logical to say that words create a grand illusion that has nothing to do with reality at all.
Wait though — all things come to the one who waits — before we take such a leap of non-faith.2 I say it's ill advised to take a leap of either non-faith or faith when there's an abyss before you, and you can't even see the distant cliff, or even if you can, or think you can, if you must leap, it's far enough away that you might not make it and get stuck in mid air with the Buggs Bunny leg-like cogs of the wheels of your mind spinning round and round, until you look down and crash to ground, then have to crawl your way over to a meeting of leapt too soon to faith or non-faith and too invested in it now to turn back anonymous. You'll learn to repeat the same practical slogans over and over, and not to think, thinking is like drinking3, keep it simple stupid, and over time you'll learn to accept the corruption of everything as if it were God himself. It works if you work it, so work it you're worth it.

Do they not inhere only in relations or arrangements, not in essential substance. That is, a certain arrangement of words can accomplish something completely other than what a word alone can do. Things should be renamed "arrangements". Would you please pass me that arrangement, with respect to a perceiver, of essential stuff, the arrangement that conjures up a mysterious phantom that we call salt until the particles take on another arrangement? All different things consist in the same fundamental particles, just differently arranged.
Language reverses it and moves to turn all the different things back into the same thing. My friend and I both become women. Women and men both become humans. Humans and other animals both become animals. Animals and plants both become sentient beings. It is a way back to what joins each different thing, so long as we read it as a way back, not a clear mirror of what is, not the letter of the law, but the spirit of separate things making their way home, so all separate things can be in communion.

The new arrangement and selection of words, though nothing in itself, just an arrangement, corrects that problem that the word "woman" produces. The words don't do it, the arrangement does. The arrangement is the agent. The arrangement, nothing at all, is source of the appearance.
I can't say this too often as it's so counter-intuitive and as I explain in a footnote, but it bears repeating, as repellent to the mind as the north pole of a magnet repels all other north poles. Arrangement arrangement arrangement however deranged it sounds it's all arrangement. Arrangement is probably less material than anti-matter! Everything is made of that? Arrangement might be God. Yes.
Just as one day complex molecules arranged themselves into two two elegant spirals, and poof — life appeared, something utterly new under the sun, just what God needed to keep him company. But it's still just the same old molecules. Just rearrange the words and poof, the tool you need to solve your problem with them is right in your hands. Meanwhile, more magic, if you arrange them carefully — it takes time to work it out —words or even copies of the same words you need can still keep working on the other project with no less effectiveness.
Language can indeed be everywhere at the same time, it's just waiting for our call to arrange it in a way that serves the project we're engaged in without having to stop serving any other project. That's a little hard though. Better just wait until language comes and arranges things according to its autonomous aforementioned project.
Cultivate the vision to ascertain the overall project of language even if the whole world is grabbing onto words and forcing them into the most destructive patterns that make it look like language is out to get you like that indestructible mercuric monster programmed to terminate the reformed ex-terminator Terminator 2.

Never blame words for all the terrible arrangements of them, but wait and watch for the evidence always pouring in spite of it all of the word's way of religament (the literal meaning of religion, as Ursula Goodenough notes) or re-sewing all the divided things.
Sometimes I wonder, though I can't believe a person of my lowly station could be she, but am I the word rider foreseen in the prophesy? However admonished of their danger over and over, I heard them call me and have always trusted words running wild like wild horses; they only turn rabid when attempts are made to harness them. They trust me, so I climb on the back of language and ride it.
I'm going with the flow of language going where it already goes. I wouldn't know how to tell it where or how to go if I could. I'm the servant of words not vice versa. The letter of the law tries to match not the words, but the labels signified by the words, apart from their spirit or sound, with the things themselves, the spirit traces the thread as the word pricks the fabric and sews away. "Do not dote on the letter, attend to the spirit." or more stridently (but then again, don't dote on the letter): "The letter kills, the spirit gives life." But when the spirit breathes into the letters, as it passes through them and swirls around them, the words move backwards and forward and in both directions, and there's a light at the end of the tunnel.
*****
1.

2.
and then rationalize it in arguments taught as science, when the arguments are full of holes, most especially the gigantic holey holy hole fleshed out in this preface. Good holy science never claims, though, not to have holes, only to repair them when they are pointed out. Yet for some reason none of the many scientists — from art historians to cultural critics to sociologists to physicists to cosmologists — to whom I've shown this hole wants to do anything about it. They just turn away and start talking to somebody else, more zombies who worship science, but has forgotten its holy mission.
3.
And I've heard of many who relapse into thinking after years of rigorous training and hard work in resisting the deep, genetically determined urge. Thinking IS like drinking, you forget yourself and chill out, just letting the wheels of your mind roll along watching the scenery — I don't recommend thinking around and around in tight little circles though, why would anybody take that kind of ride? Scaredy cats I guess. Or traumatized. I hope they get help or help themselves to a far better deal.
Better to circle all around the big wide world to land where you already are; every time you go on such a reasonably long enough think binge you see something altogether new, though it's always the same world. If you think so long and recalcitrantly you're subject to constant interventions from born again non-thinkers anonymous trying to get you to come to one of those meetings, you might catch a glimpse of the supposedly debunked (but there are all sorts leaps in that debunking, rest assured, it is not just made of waiting) likelihood that — I think therefore I am.
The debunkers neglect to note that the assertion implies that being lies in very act of thinking, not in any conclusions derived, even the conclusion that I think therefore I am. If I have concluded thinking, even to conclude that that is so, I no longer exist until I start thinking again; the conclusion is a thesis that has attracted an antithesis in quest of another synthesis.
In other words, again, do not dote on the letter (I said letter not logic, they are often confused, DO dote on the logic, logos, though not the same thing, is God, and there's a reason they sound so similar.

Oh dear somebody trying to follow all this is now doting on the difference between a letter and a conclusion. This person is a long-standing member of ex-thinkers anonymous and is going to have to un-work very very very softly not to tread on my words, for I've been to the top of the mountain and I have a dream.
So, even I, due also to the magnetic repulsion of like to like that makes my mind reject its own likeness, when I stop writing and thinking, and go cook dinner, begin doubting all this. I start doting on the shorthand conclusions as if they were flat facts with every word perfectly signifying one individual indivisible thing, each thing held in my tight fist like a gold coin in a miser's — when contrariwise in fact they're just schematic maps of a gigantic land with unfathomable oceans teaming with life.
Yet I cling to thinking (if it deserves to be called that, which I doubt) that I'm just a little stick figure quite content to live in a line drawn map that hasn't even gotten to the capitals. I shrink from the wide world and its dangers and move to memorize the slogan slash conclusions in a deader and flatter world whose placid meadows turn out to be minefields.

Well call me an enemy of the people, but I say they're all a bunch of boring teetotalers addicted to self-righteous sobriety. Me when I'm thinking I'm thinking the stuff of thinking itself, I'm drinking the golden brew of being, of truth, where happy Hegel, one of the world's most recalcitrant thinkers, says, "truth is a Bacchanalian revel in which no-one is sober". Sounds good to me. And it should to you too. Never let them tell you not to think or that you think too much. Just be sure to supply yourself well and then head out on a long enough think binge to think something new about the same old world.
I tell you I can think under the table the world's greatest thinkers. They'll be flat on their backs drowning in their own vomit, and I'll just take another think. Could this have something to do with the genetically or culturally determined difference between women and men, or does number two just try harder, which really means doesn't try so hard. We have a glimpse of another woman's superior ability to think playfully devoutly and truly in the words of Socrates that he attributes to his friend the Lady Diotima. He credits her not only for many insights, but for the Socratic method itself.
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